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Sat, Dec. 31st, 2016, 05:22 pm
new year's eve

my 2016 resolutions:

1. eat some weird new vegetables
  • fennel - bulb went into soup, we made pesto with fronds, stalks saved for veg stock

  • sunchokes - I was excited to try these, but peeling them ended up being more trouble than it was worth. we could only find them at one place, and I think maybe the ones we got were weirdly small and lumpy, which made it a lot more work.

  • rainbow chard - another one I've been wanting to try - it always looks so pretty at the store.
wow I thought there were more of these but I can't think of any, so maybe I didn't do as good at this one as I thought...

2. do more art/creative stuff/personal projects - this was my biggest fail. I drew like 2 pictures and thought of a couple half-baked project ideas that I barely/never started.

3. start rock climbing again - this was my biggest success! the hardest part was finding a place to climb and physically going there. once I made it past that hurdle, I realized how easy it was to get there, so going back took much less effort. I started small, going maybe a couple times per month. eventually I convinced some other people to try climbing with me, so now we have memberships and go about 1-2 times per week. it's really fun, and I am getting stronger and better at climbing. my only regret is not doing this sooner!

some other things I did in 2016:

  • spent lots of time outside - tubing and going to the pool in the summer, also catching pokeymans

  • did 10 pullups! not too long ago I couldn't even do one

  • joined my company softball team - I hate sports and we never won a game but it was fun

  • punched some strangers in the face

  • went to some concerts

  • did some drugs

  • read some books

  • cooked some new things

  • asked for a raise at work (still waiting on this one...)

resolutions for 2017:
(and some more specific goals/first steps/ways I can actually accomplish them)

1. get more involved in my community
  • set up more monthly donations
    abortion providers

  • plan some volunteering/community service outings for work
    first step: research local volunteer opportunities, make a list of a few that look promising

  • go to at least one protest and actually participate (last protest I went to, I mainly just stood on the sidelines)
    inauguration weekend is going to be such a shitshow that I kind of want just to stay home and hide, but I live so close and really have no fucking excuse, so I'm going to go to this: https://www.facebook.com/events/332879180414090/

2. do more art/creative stuff/personal projects (for real this time)
  • do something every month - it can be as simple as a small drawing or sketch. it doesn't necessarily have to be art - it can be building something with code, or making something physical (food/drink don't count though)

  • make a new personal website for myself

  • start keeping a sketchbook again? like visual diary from high school portfolio class - needs to be small & portable so I can take it with me everywhere

3. cultivate friendships
  • keep in better touch with friends who are far away - email, facebook, texting, snapchat, video calls, planning to actually visit in person

  • make an effort to spend time with non-work friends who live nearby
    possibly start some sort of semi-regular game night and/or potluck dinner

  • actually speak to some people at the rock gym - there are a bunch of people we see all the time but I don't know their names and have never introduced myself. it's hard and scary but actually not really that hard, just start with saying hi and being friendly!

in writing this I'm realizing how much of this year I've forgotten and how much I haven't been documenting my life. time is going by so fast and a lot of things blur together, and I'm searching though things trying use context clues to remember what I did and when, but I barely have a record of anything. so that's another goal - make an effort to document my life a little better so I have a record of things to remember later. maybe I'll post here more. maybe I'll take more dumb pictures even when it's dumb. I always regret not taking more pictures, but I'm usually too busy doing whatever thing I'm doing, or else too self-conscious of being some dumb girl taking dumb pictures. which is dumb.

Sat, Apr. 23rd, 2016, 07:55 pm

I've had a vague collection of bitter thoughts in the back of my head that I've sort of been meaning to put into words, but words are hard so I haven't bothered. But I think if I can find the words then I can get them out of my head, so here goes:

People were posting all over social media about national siblings day a couple weeks ago; lots of heartwarming childhood pictures and cute little stories and it kind of got to me. Blah. I just had to distance myself from it all and take a break from the internet because there were SO MANY and it made me feel fairly shitty.

It also bothers me on tv/whatever when they're all, "oh it's because you're my ~*~sister~*~" and again with the fuzzy heartwarming bullshit. Being related to someone doesn't actually MEAN anything. but I supposed it sounds nicer than, "because you are a person and I feel a certain amount of respect and affection for you and am accordingly not going to be a shitbag, because that's how people treat other people." I mean, y'know, it's tv.

Thu, Mar. 3rd, 2016, 09:34 am
at least they're not jeggings


Thu, Nov. 27th, 2014, 01:22 pm
my feelings

this seemed like a thing I should put here:


Tue, Mar. 18th, 2014, 02:22 pm
wisdom teeth

I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday.

I was going to say that the worst part was how my mouth was numb 12 hours after they were taken out. It was kind of fun for the first 15 minutes, in an "oh what a strange and interesting sensation" way, but that got old very fast. Trying to drink water and instead dribbling blood down my chin, my tongue flopping around in weird places (or maybe they were the normal places tongues flop around, but felt weird because it was like some foreign piece of flesh moving around in my mouth), spooning pudding into my face and hoping it wouldn't spill out because I couldn't feel my lips. Once I went the change the gauze in my mouth and accidentally grabbed part of my face instead - "oops, that's not the right one."

I was going to say that was the worst, but now I'm wide awake and the pain is setting in and my mouth is full of this awful taste, like old blood that's starting to go bad, but I can't get rid of it because I'm not allowed to rinse or spit yet. I just upped the dose of painkillers, so I'm hoping to be delightfully loopy and pain-free soon, but in the meantime I'm distracting myself on the internet until they kick in. So probably I shouldn't be writing about the very thing I'm trying not to think about right now, huh?

oh god I just sneezed
nothing terrible came out but it did not feel pleasant
moving my face too much in any way hurts

Sun, Sep. 8th, 2013, 03:45 pm

I am doing some FILING today oh god

this involves going through a huuuuge pile of crap that's been accumulating for about a year and dusting it off, sorting it into piles like bank statements, pay stubs, rent and bills, retirement funds, medical, and taxes. there is also a bag for recycling and another of stuff with sensitive info to be shredded. being an adult involves a lot of paperwork!

I am also finding a bunch of other random stuff, like old graduation/christmas/birthday cards (I always feel bad throwing these out so I keep them around forever, but eventually I can only save a few favorite/sentimental ones because otherwise they pile up), credit card offers, scratch paper with triangle math and stuff, chinese food menus, random people's business cards, lots of receipts, I could go on but basically ugh there is just SO MUCH CRAP.

I have this habit of keeping piles and piles of stuff around for a very long time. if you ever visit my parents' house it is abundantly clear where I get this from. my mom saves every possible odd and end that might potentially be useful in the future. she washes and reuses everything - ziploc bags, tin foil, and saran wrap, to name a few. honestly it can be very useful because if you need something she probably just happens to have it tucked away in a drawer somewhere, but it also adds up to a LOT of stuff. my dad gets a bunch of magazines (including a lifetime subscription to national geographic) and he long ago ran out of shelf space and now just has piles several feet high all around the house.

I just realized that this is probably really boring and I think I am only still writing because I am avoiding getting back to my sorting and filing. I am sitting around in my underwear and blasting music while I do it, though, so that makes it a little more fun.

Sun, Aug. 18th, 2013, 09:50 pm
Busy Weekend

I did a bunch of stuff this weekend. Saturday morning I went to the beach because my friend really wanted to get a tan. He was all "omg I need to get my bronze on so I can look good for my pool party next weekend!" The weather forecast was cloudy, but the sun actually ended up coming out and it was a lot nicer than I expected. Unfortunately that resulted in some pretty bad sunburn on my legs, but only on the right side because that's where the sun was.

Then in the afternoon I went to a bar crawl. It was planned by some people at the company I work for to raise money for this charity event that we're doing. There was a pretty good turnout and I got to hang out with some fun people and eat/drink lots of tasty things for discounted prices. After that I went home and conked out. I think the combination of sun at the beach plus drinking and stuffing myself with food made me fall asleep really early.

Today was a more chill day, I mostly hung around my house relaxing. In the afternoon we went over to a friend's house and did a late brunch type of thing with fresh banana muffins, bacon, hash browns, fruit, and french toast. Oh, and mimosas of course! All this day drinking is making me get sleepy early, though. I think I'm gonna read a book in bed until I fall asleep.

Tue, Jul. 30th, 2013, 12:06 am
Sometimes I hate coming up with titles

dear self: please stop posting random cryptic bullshit that only means something at the moment you post it and will be a mystery to everyone, even yourself, when you look back on it later. context, bro!

Here is a straightforward post about things in my life and my brain:

I have learned to like eggs! I used to avoid them because they made me feel nauseous whenever I ate them, but now I can eat them as long as there's other stuff with them and it's not too yolky. We got this tasty asiago cheese bread from the Farmer's Market on Saturday and Nate made me an egg and cheese sandwich for dinner. Yolks still weird me out so he actually took them out and just fried the egg whites for me, which was nice and also delicious.

I've been hearing a lot about IUDs lately, which has got me thinking about them. They partly seem really appealing but also partly really freak me out.

I had a dream the other night that I had a baby but it was adorable and I liked it, which also freaks me out. There was something about it waving its feet in the air which was really funny and cute and I want to wave my bare feet in the air! Also I think I have a weird thing about how you have to support a baby's head so its neck doesn't break. Like how old do they have to be before they can support their own head? I learned that in babysitting class one time but I forget. Something about this terrifies me.

I think I'm realizing how much I miss writing things like this. I like LJ because it's for myself and I can just ramble, and other people can get things out of it too if they want, but if not they can just ignore it and it's still for me.

This ended up being weirdly centered around reproductive things...

Mon, Jul. 29th, 2013, 11:46 pm
Old Things and New Things

Nate got me on a nostalgic internet kick, so I've been going back and reading old LJ entries. I've had this LJ for almost 10 years now, which is pretty scary.

You know it's a good story when it ends in "I almost barfed, but it was awesome."

This nostalgia thing may spiral out of control, as I have years of chat logs and also a pile of hand-written journals that I could delve into. I'm kind of tempted to find everything I have and piece them together to get a better picture of what what going on back then... who I was talking to, what I was posting publicly, what I was writing privately. I know that's a giant can of worms though, so probably not tonight.

I'm not sure what I use LJ for anymore. Mostly to read my friends list, to be honest. Not like I ever posted much quality content to begin with, but my entries are especially sparse these days. I do want to start posting life updates/etc. somewhere but I'm not sure where. I think only like 3 people are even on LJ anymore. CM is great but also mostly non-meatspace people. Facepoop is good for pictures, but I don't take that many pictures anymore (except of food) and usually I forget to post them. LiLW is good for private close-friend only stuff but... I don't know, it seems neglected or like, I don't know? I should post more stupid things there. We should all post more stupid things there.

A lot of times there are things going on or thoughts in my head and I think I should write about them, and maybe I'll start, but then it seems like too much effort and who is even going to read this/care? Or I have a bunch of thoughts but I can't quite get them coherent or articulate or perfect enough. And I settle into the routine of not bothering.

Wed, Jun. 13th, 2012, 12:13 am
old things

I started going through some old, long-forgotten stuff from ages ago.

I finally recycled the huge stack of every issue I ever got from a subscription of awful teen girl magazines. I'd been holding onto them for a long time, for some reason. (Oh-ho, is that a double entendre? This could actually be something really serious and meaningful, but actually it's just pretty literal.)

I found $7.10 with a box full of shitty jewelry that I made with the intent to sell - hand-written price tags on every piece. Just another of the countless unfinished projects I got excited about and then promptly forgot. But woo, free money! Thanks, childhood!

I also found a bunch of old balloons (the long ones for making animals) and assorted pieces from a magic kit I got as a gift one time. The balloons were leftover from my brief escapade as a clown, and the magic kit turned out to be hokey and disappointing.

There were also a few crafty things like an origami kit and a friendship bracelet book. Hopefully there's some kid in the neighborhood who might enjoy them?

I wonder what else I'll dig up.

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